Labor Day Weekend; Cons

On the downside, I’ve been stewing over some bullsh*t at work (which I will describe in further detail in my school blog).  Plus, I didn’t exercise all weekend, unless you count walking around at the Farmer’s Market and to breakfast and back.  My plan for a routine has not exactly taken off in any way shape or form.  I was gonna get up extra early before work at least 1 or 2 days a week and go jogging or biking, and I was going to jog or bike Saturdays and Sundays.  That would give me about 4 times a week of vigorous physical activity.  Turns out I’ve not only dropped the ball on week days but on weekends as well, even before we had friends come in town.  I’ve only been really exercising every Saturday, and that’s not gonna get me to where I want, which is 20-30 lbs lighter. 

So, if I don’t take up the entire day doing chores, running errands, making lesson plans, and blogging, then maybe I’ll attempt to start my work out routine TODAY.    (?)  Maybe?

Furthermore, I’ve been missing my family more than ever this weekend.  I keep thinking it’s about time to hop in the car and drive out to see Mom and Dad, or Katie and Cole.  I’d love to go walking around the lake with Mom out in the Dova, but then I think, “Oh, that’s a 6 hour drive now, instead of just 20 minutes.”  When the distance hits me, it does little for the feeling of isolation I have from not really knowing many people here.  I am used to seeing my family at least once a week.  I suppose I could try to be thankful that they are only 6 hours away instead of 20, and I probably should do that.  At the same time, my adjustment from 20 mins to 6 hours is real and isn’t going to poof away by guilting myself into some hypothetical scenario of having to adjust to 20 hours from 6.  Therefore, I should be allowed to lament as needed

Maybe 30 isn’t the best age to attempt to rip one’s safety net and familiar routine away.   I’m not used to it.  And frankly, I’m angry and resentful and depressed about it, because I keep holding up “what is” to an (seemingly) impossible, idealistic standard of what should be.  When I think of how reality’s circumstances force me to choose between living with the people I love in a place that may NEVER allow even civil unions, and living without them in a place that does (or will soon)… I just hate it.  Why does my family have to be geographically situated far away from all the places that allow consenting adults to choose their partners?  (My family may be thinking, “Why does our daughter have to want a partner that our state won’t recognize?”)  Amy and I could be enjoying all the legal rights that life companions enjoy RIGHT NOW, but we would have to live even farther from our loved ones- Connecticut, Massachusetts, Iowa, or Vermont.   I should be able to live near my family if I want and still enjoy the same rights and happiness of any other human being.  I don’t think it would be half as upsetting, if it weren’t based on such complete nonsense and ridiculous prejudice. 

Though they are the most important and immediate, the obstacles for Amy and me are not the only reason I had the urge to try a new town.  As much as I love Memphis like a family member, it’s still that dysfunctional family member  that I want so badly to see do well, but that keeps disappointing and draining me.  Memphis doesn’t live up to her full potential.  Nothing can be perfect, but damn- can’t you try to get a little closer?  Do you even want to try to get closer?  I hate its cycle of crime and its ineffective methods for preventing and handling it.  The same goes for its poverty, education system, transportation system, and every other ineffective city system it has. 

It’s easy for a small town like the one I live in now to criticize a bigger city like Memphis, because it is much easier to organize a small town.  But this small town has helped to show me how organization and community efforts can make things so much better and smoother.  Even other big cities around the country do a better job of getting it together than Memphis does.  Then there’s the sweltering humidity, which I’ve always despised but am curious to see just how much once I am able to compare it with an Illinois winter. 

I’m thinking that (in terms of my complaints in this blog) life is like one of those restaurants where you choose from meal 1, 2, or 3.  There can be no substitutions, no swapping and switching.  You either get the beef with these set sides, or the chicken with those set sides, and that’s it.  In the same way, I can either select the Memphis platter with its sides or another state and whatever sides with which it comes.  AND I DON’T LIKE THAT ARRANGEMENT.  I want a buffet, where I can create my own combo.  If I could, I would choose the people I love, the education of Finland, the healthcare of Germany or France, the landscape of East Tennessee (The Smokies and their creeks), the gay marriage views of Massachusetts, the museums of DC, NYC, and Chicago, the pedestrian friendliness of Urbana, the temperature of Lake Tahoe… like that. 

*Sigh*

Labor Day Weekend; Pros

We’ve had a nice weekend with Anna & Will and (though they were gone in a flash) Terry & Franklin.  At least we got to watch and sing along with Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical, Once More with Feeling before they had to run back to Chicago

Doug & Lee threw a lovely housewarming party Saturday night, during which we didn’t let the drizzle keep us from lighting the tiki torches and chillin’ on their amazing deck.  A backyard with a garden and tiki torches must be one of the top 5 reasons to celebrate upon becoming a homeowner.  Doug grilled the Omaha burgers and hot dogs Amy got them for a present (which she finds funny being a vegetarian), and I found them delicious (as a non-vegetarian)– as did most of the folks there.   I thoroughly enjoyed the conversations I had that night.  Check out the people I met:

1.  Spanish teachers!  Never happens at any other party.  They rekindled my desire to teach adults instead of teens.
2.  Random next door neighbor who records music and pointed me toward a music store in town.
3.  RND neighbor’s wife who works in healthcare and offered insight into our health reform discussion.
4.  RND neighbor’s adorable 4 year old, who was super fun to play with & reminded me of my nephew.
5.  Professor & student of New Media Art (Michael), who rekindled my desire to work with teens, in terms of the moral obligation to lend a hand in bettering society.  I also loved hearing about his classes and his art work.     

I was completely engrossed in all the discussions (sometimes drunken debates) that I got to have (and observe) with Anna, Michael, Will, and my brilliant MIGNON.  Do we know how to party or what?   But seriously, I was so happy to not be making awkward small talk about NOTHING.  I enjoyed our talks a lot and was enlightened here and there :)

Yesterday we had pizza (and empanadas) at Manolo’s, where my favorite Michael moment occurred when he blurted out, “HE JUST TOUCHED ME TWICE!”  We moved some patio tables to sit together, and apparently some guy wanted to demonstrate his lack of sidewalk room every time he passed, by holding on to Michael’s shoulder as he went by.  According to Michael, it was no ordinary hold but rather a “squeeze.”  The second time it happened and Michael loudly narrated the events for everyone within a mile radius, the poor dude got some pep in his step and hauled ass down the path.  It was pretty great.  Then we went to see Extract, which (in my view) was also pretty great.  It had some laugh out loud stuff, but most of the humor was a bit subtle or mellow.  I thought it was really cute and loved the soundtrack, which was this mixture of honky tonk, Danny Elfman type tunes, and at least one adorable Mark Mothersbaugh kind of tune.  We also agreed it was a pleasure to see Ben Affleck back in a non-sellout role.

La Fleur

Until I started getting up early for work, I had no idea that the vine on our fence was going to sprout these delicious purple flowers.   They must only bloom when it’s slightly cool outside.  I can’t think of the name of them, but I’ve seen them on people’s decks and things before and always wanted some. Now they’re in my very back yard! I don’t think they’re Clematis… but they’re similar. These little white flowers with purple stripes are also popping up in the vine.

I just love all the flowers in our neighborhood. The whole area- the twin towns- really puts care into landscaping- public and private. I see a lot of zinnias, hastas, surprise lilies (though they have mostly faded now), and black-eyed susans. But aside from that, there is such variety!

I love biking or walking around and comparing all the different yards, seeing what each one has growing. And I like the way that most of it has a slightly wild flower feel, or a more down to earth style. It’s not so manicured that it looks fake and cold. Last weekend, Doug took Amy and I on a little bike tour. We went past some community gardens, where I guess people without yards can rent plots of land and grow stuff. It was really cute… I would have liked something like that in Memphis when I was in apartments all the time.

We also rode through the University’s Arboretum, which was gorgeous. It is 160 acres that is used by students studying plant science and fine art. Large portions of it are green fields, trimmed like golf courses, where people just jog through the grass. There was this one area of flower beds and plants, in particular, with a little trail that must have had every single variety of summer flowers and plants that exists. They were even pepper plants that Doug claims to have stolen from… hehe.

Like the Botanic Gardens in Memphis, there is also a little Japanese Garden area in the Arboretum with some ponds, lily pads, and koi. Here are some pictures:

Amy has her interview today @ high noon. Good luck, Mignon! xoxo

Our house

is a very, very, very fine house
with two cats in the yard
life used to be so hard
now everything is easy
cause of you…

I made a video of the new house.  Unfortunately, I could not upload it here on WordPress, as it seemed to only accept photo (not video) files, even when I selected “video upload.”  WEIRD.

So, I posted it here on my blog.

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Moving: Not a big fan

I hate all my belongings being in disarray, my home being crazy-up-in-the-air.  It makes for an irritable Pomme.  Other than that and the fact that we have to haul our trash through the jungle for it to be picked up, I really love lots of things about our house, such as:

- More space

- Cuteness factor

- Plenty of natural light

- Removable shower nozzle

- Big pantry

- Porch (small, but hey… I finally have one!)

 

And a few pluses about the town so far include:  exceptionally friendly and helpful customer service, pretty flowers everywhere, less humidity & heat, awesome loan rates at the University of Illinois Credit Union, a free wireless cafe (since we have no internet yet), friends like Doug & Lee, Coco-Mero where you can make seemingly endless frozen yogurt combinations, AND…

hopefully this list will keep growing as we go.  I need to have some fun, but it’s hard to tear myself away from unpacking.  I’m obsessed with working from sun up to sun down to make it “home.”

I feel kinda down, actually.  Kinda uncertain and fish outta water.

mignon meltdown

yesterday = que terrible.  a pipe burst in our basement, so we have been without hot water for 24+ hours (and were without water of any kind for 3-4 hours yesterday).  i have cramps; it’s hot in memphis again; and various plumbing and planning disasters kept us from doing much packing at all yesterday.

feel sorry for me

okay, enough whining: now i’ll beg for forgiveness (some of it pre-emptively).  i am cranky, tired, & easily frustrated.  i’m doing my best to control myself, but i’m often failing.  PLEASE give me (and probably pomme, too) some leeway till we make it to illinois.

It’s real…er

I knew what I was doing when I applied for a job in another state, had a telephone interview, helped Amy pick out a rental house, signed a lease… etc. But for whatever reason, it felt like I was mostly operating on automatic pilot back then, or at the most it felt like planning a future vacation of some sort.

Now, though… I’m looking around our apartment, half of it packed away, and the reality is kicking in more. I’ve sent off all the official paper work for my new job. I am starting to walk by places around Memphis and whisper goodbye. On my way walking to breakfast the other day, I passed a couple of theaters. Eying their billboards and advertisements of current and upcoming shows, I began to feel that I’d taken them for granted. Maybe I should have gone more. Will I have a second chance in the new town to get more involved in local arts? Will I take it, if I do? We shall see.

It seems kinda strange to be 30 and to have only lived in one place, especially when so many of my friends at least experienced going away to college for 4 years. Living in a different city/state feels (to me and some of my friends) like a sort of rite of passage… part of growing up, well maybe not “up” exactly, but growing. I know that it’s not a universal rite of passage, but rather just one of many experiences that some people have and others (while they have their own set of unique experiences) do not. Maybe it seems like a bridge I must cross because of my reliance on my comfort zones, sometimes to the point of paralysis.

I don’t feel the need to prove anything by, say, bungee jumping or by walking over hot coals. But living elsewhere than Memphis (a city that may not be the best fit for me anyway) is one challenge I’m inclined to take up…. probably kicking and screaming a little… but take up just the same. My family and friends will be the hardest to leave. I know we’ll still be there for each other, but I always envisioned myself as a more, regular part in their daily lives. If I could magically transport them to where I’m going, I would.

I couldn’t be happier than to set out on this adventure with Mignon, who is an amazing organizer and planner. She’d already arranged so many of our needs, before I could blink. We’ve got our electricity plans, our movers, our supply list, and now it looks like she’s finally found a job that fits her interests and needs for the time being, which is great. I’m also so relieved that she found decent-priced health insurance, which she would be giving up upon leaving the Opera. Health care is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately in our country.

But that’s for another day. Or another blog, actually. My blog.
If ya wanna read my health care thoughts of late (on which I’d love your feedback), there’s a link to my blog up and to the right hand side of this page… under “Links.”

The health care blog is called “It’s an option.” The most interesting part is the “further reading,” in which I provide links to descriptions of health care systems around the world. I wish we could incorporate some of those strategies here in the U.S.

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bump in the road

major repair bill during our last week in memphis: my nissan altima needs a front motor mount, rear brakes, a drive belt & tensioner, a crank sensor, a cam sensor, and possibly a new alternator.

this was a VERY frustrating discovery for me, as it’s going to take a nice chunk out of the nest egg i’ve cobbled together over the last year.  but, as my boss helpfully pointed out,  it could have been much worse.  the repairs could have been more expensive.  the car could have broken down–filled to the brim with cats and our possessions too important to trust to the movers–in the middle of nowhere, illinois.  it could have been such a disaster that it delayed our move.  with this in mind, i’m going to try to keep my chin up as i fork over $1200 to get my car back this weekend.

makeshift dessert

to celebrate packing yet another box.

one for me, one for my love

<3

baby steps

this admission may annoy jennifer, but i’m in the cult of dave ramsey.  the guy gives practical, easy-to-follow advice about personal finance.*  he coaches his listeners to follow his “baby steps,” which is a discrete and manageable series of tasks that should be completed in the specified order.  dave occasionally makes reference to the fact that his plan works in other areas of life.  he’s used something like the baby steps to train for a marathon, for example.  a plan for self-discipline presented as a series of small steps is psychologically easier to process than a large, undifferentiated goal.  crossing a number of small accomplishments off our “to-do” lists gives us motivation to take the next baby step.  i know this to be the case, and i’ve seen the “baby steps” method work in my own life and in the lives of others with great success.

so why is it that we are we two weeks out from the big move and we’ve yet to pack a single box?

what our apartment should look like

baby step #1: pack everything in the closets.  this weekend.  no exceptions.

baby step #2: post pictures to prove our progress.  maybe you can keep us accountable when we can’t do it for each other.

*dave and i have our differences, but not with respect to his advice on personal finance.**

**but that’s for another blog.